Advice re significant others disapproving of gambling

[slotbender]

Dina, you've stated that you are a very generous person towards siblings & some friends. You also stated that your BF doesn't have much discretionary income. After analyzing what you've said I can picture a situation where the BF in this relationship is becoming "controlling" over you and your $$. Could it be that he thinks that the money that you spend for gambling takes your $$ (generosity) away from him? I know that there are alotta guys out there that have no shame in taking advantage of women and their monies. This is my twist on this and I have to agree with @goldengreeke on this one : )

[dvandentop]

I would change the plans and go somewhere besides Vegas sounds like it would become an issue during the trip and no one wants to be fighting or arguing during a vacation together.

[Mary9915]

I would change the plans and go somewhere besides Vegas sounds like it would become an issue during the trip and no one wants to be fighting or arguing during a vacation together.

I do agree with this.

It sound like you two really enjoy being together. I hope that you guys can figure out something that makes both parties comfortable!

[DK528]

Dina, you've stated that you are a very generous person towards siblings & some friends. You also stated that your BF doesn't have much discretionary income. After analyzing what you've said I can picture a situation where the BF in this relationship is becoming "controlling" over you and your $$. Could it be that he thinks that the money that you spend for gambling takes your $$ (generosity) away from him? I know that there are alotta guys out there that have no shame in taking advantage of women and their monies. This is my twist on this and I have to agree with @goldengreeke on this one : )

Thanks, slotbender. He's not really like that abt money generally. We're pretty evenly split, skewing towards him paying, for everyday dating things. I've treated on some nice meals but he picks up the tab on most of our dates. I think it's more that he's insecure about the differences? And me gambling is an easy way to tell the difference in discretionary income.

He's really not a bad guy - he's pretty wonderful in many other areas. I feel like I'm portraying him very badly and that makes me sad.

I would change the plans and go somewhere besides Vegas sounds like it would become an issue during the trip and no one wants to be fighting or arguing during a vacation together.

I've offered to change many times at this point. The issue now is that we're going away beginning the Friday of MDW and airfare to many other places is really high. I do think we'll have a ton of fun in Vegas for all of the other things that Vegas offers. At least that's what I'm hoping.

[CPT]

I think if you don't talk about it and just let Vegas flow as it comes. Don't drop the bags and run immediately to the casino, like anyone of us do..haha Like others have said, you will have to find the happy medium. As it is your interest, he will have to learn to accept it at some point. He does seem like a good guy, it's just that change of mentality of how it is considered entertainment and not just throwing money away that may take awhile to get used to. Good luck Dina!

[Big Mac]

Dina,

I have had similar situations, my gambling time is an escape from my routine daily life that I enjoy. I pay my bills and am responsible with my $$$ but my GF's have far less $$ that they are comfortable risking gambling, they would rather go buy a $300 purse etc...

I recommend always being honest, for me I gamble solo early in the morning, let her have leaisurely morning, return with a coffee and baileys then we go about our day in Vegas, at points during the day we will gamble together but we keep ourselves busy with activities and nice meals, shopping etc..I don't let the gambling deter from having a great couples vacation. I will nap at the pool while she suntans.

I do have my solo guys trips (That I recommend) where it is all about me and I blow off steam and golf drink too much etc. But it doesn't take away from the fact I love my time with GF but we don't need to be together 24/7.

I guess my point is a relationship is all about compromise. Don't let him be a DICK tator....

[Reen]

I agree with a lot of others here. I think its all about compromise and a happy medium in a relationship. I think you can make this trip work out for the both of you. I wish you a great time in Vegas and lots of Good Luck. Hope to meet you in AC this summer.

[goldengreeke]

Don't you just love all of us Dr Phils out here on the forum lol;

The thing that concerns me is that right now your money is your money, so he shouldn't really complain about how you spend it.

Once married ALL that changes. What use to be only YOUR money is now his money also and if you gamble with what he feels is HIS money....I see disaster.

[Luckylinda123]

[QUOTE=DK528;109868]I should also mention that he realizes it's something I enjoy doing and that he has to accept it. But it's been more difficult in practice than theory.

You actually know he doesn't have to accept it and will make you miserable if you continue to gamble.
With a Vegas vacation planned just a few weeks away you should be thinking of what a great time is coming with no worries.

[treyster]

Maybe some other Jokers will be in Vegas MDW and can entertain this young man while you're out herding the buffalo.